"THE" Talk

"'You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.  If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away.  It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.  And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away.  It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.'"  Matthew 5 : 27 - 30 

We've all had this talk, you know, the uncomfortable one.  The talk where you figure out what you can't do in a relationship.  But have you ever had a talk about how to love someone?  How to truly honor, respect, and serve?  I doubt many have but I think it is something that is so important to know.

Love is often misunderstood.  We are taught in our culture that love is sex.  It is not.  Jesus best illustrated how to love people and he did it through service. When you are serving each other, you are loving each other in the best way possible. When both people in a relationship are looking to best serve the other, then loving each other comes naturally. One person doesn't feel like they are being used or taken advantage of. Loving someone is rather committing to constantly look for ways to serve them.  A relationship was meant to be an act of selfless service.

Lust is something that we are constantly surrounded by.  Commercials, movies, and ad's make living a life without lust nearly impossible.  It is easy to be tempted by the physical appearance of someone.  Walking through town you will see attractive people and noticing beauty is not a sin.  Ryan explained that you should try to live by the Second Look Rule.  Stated simply, the Second Look Rule says to not take a second look.  Lust is when you let a thought linger, when you take a second look, rather than just passing by.  When you choose to surround yourself with something or someone that will lead you to sin, instead of gouging that out of your life.

Lust is not something to be taken lightly.  It grips you, takes control of your life, and makes you feel trapped.  So many struggle with an addiction to internet pornography or an unloving relationship.  There is so much shame that comes with these addictions but hear me when I tell you that you are not trapped.  You have a loving God that has forgiven you and sacrificed everything to pay for your debt.  There is nothing for you to feel ashamed about, embrace His love.  If this shame is something that you are struggling with there are resources for you. http://xxxchurch.com/ is a great website.  But the best thing for you is to get prayer.  Ask your bible study leader; they are not here to judge or counsel you, they are here to lift you up in prayer, and there is nothing more powerful.

I feel like there are women out there that need to know how precious you are. Do not feel that you need a man to define you.  If you are feeling alone, run to God.  He will be your comforter, your strength, and your sounding board when you need to vent.  You are desired by Him and that is something you need to forever remember.

This is a hard topic.  There is shame and embarrassment and that makes it so hard to talk to someone.  But I strongly encourage you, if this brought up something in your heart, talk to your bible study leader or another friend you trust.  There is freedom from your prison.

I would love to talk to you more about any questions or thoughts you have. This is something that really means a lot to me.  Please leave a comment telling me what  you think.  Posting anonymously is just that, I honestly have no way of seeing your email.